The Beauty Is Chaos

You say its crazy
I think its lazy
That we keep doing this shit all the time
Back and forth while we slowly just die
Every morning I wake up and look myself in the face
Just corpses left rotting in the rain
And our lifeless souls left in the dirt
A graveyard filled deep with our worth
I want to find out how to get back to who we were
You just remind me of how much this hurts
How can I fall in love with the look in your eyes
When you're a stranger wearing the darkest diguise

I don't know how to talk to you anymore
Part of me believes you're a no good whore
And the other part just wants to love you even more
When you made your choice and walked out that door
I found my way back to the fucking liquor store
She's always there for me she never left
Even though at the end of the night the evil's crept
And I sit there on the bathroom floor and wept
Kissing the lips of a bottle is what I faith I kept
I'll have to pick up the pieces of us both left
The next morning I get the dark reality check
The anxiety building, crying in the shower reminding myself of how I failed
But fuck you for leaving me here all alone and how you just bailed
I wasn't enough for you? You believed what your family said?
I fucking loved you with everything you had
Was it really so motherfucking bad?
I gave you a roof over your head and a place to live

I held the fucking love that we had over my fucking head
And you left me in the rearview mirror left for dead
And I really wish that more words had been said
So you can feel the fucking pain that I feel
And know that the love I had for you was real

But it was just a fucking mountain for you to climb
It's been eight fucking years and I thought after this time
That I'd finally feel better and forget the scent of you
But all I can smell when I wake up to the moment I fall asleep is your perfume
And every nightmare that haunts me every night won't let me sleep
I got a room full of monsters and I can't save anyone
The doors weight is to heavy and I'm just waiting to be giving a chance

But of course the fucking reality check I get when I try to get you
And it's karma just laughing at me in the darkness
This is what I get for being born
This is what I get for being wrong
This is what I get for thinking you were the one
This is what I get
The beauty is chaos
The beauty is chaos