Life on the Playground

Up close, trying not to breathe
My life so far was suddenly a dream
And then, he's gone
And I am my mother's son
I can't find out
What it is I've done

I'm the one standing your mirror
And you're the one between there and here
Living in a moment, frozen, running past the end
And running the same thoughts through my head over and again
Clutching on your silent phone you hang on hoping still
You ask me what I'm gonna do and
I can't I can't I can't remember

Nothing at all
No, nothing at all
Then in a moment or two, when it's faded from view
I thought I saw you

One day, I'm okay, but the next day I am not
I can't sit still with any passing thought
Talk, talk
Tell me that you're real
When I'm alone
Tell me what to feel
I spend a day in my old house just trying to take it in
But two months later on the train I'm falling apart again
Once again, lost out in time just searching for a strand
Stopping myself to ask why
I can't I can't I can not remember

Nothing at all
Going back to that fall
In a moment or two, when it's faded from view
I thought I saw you
Don't fall apart
It's breaking my heart

I can't, I won't, I don't want to wake up
I hope against hope, but it'll never be enough