We're Going to the Canyon! or "the Metaphorical Train Song" (En Route Version)

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your conductor speaking
We are now leaving Corn Castle, look out your window and you'll see it
There is a bunch of corn
("Would you look at all that corn?")
("Why do you keep showing me corn?")
In about fifteen seconds we'll be approaching Pepper Palace
So please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs in the vehicle
Because it is metaphorical and doesn't have to adhere to OSHA standards

We've gone off the rails

Okay, it's just us now, we can walk from here, let's go:
Right up the canyon
Welcome to the en route song!

If you seek an evening off from law
Or a weekend spot to nurse a claw
If you have to wait til half past nine
Head on to the goat, it will be fine

He's going up the canyon!

It's been two bars of instrumentals so it's time to go to Ralph's again
We just went, but it's possible we might have missed something
And what else will we do?

Find a card and put it in the tab
Put a birthday sash between your fella's abs
If you see a sleeper on the couch (we know his name)
Give him a few hours he'll be good, I vouch

We're going to the canyon!
The canyon!