Becoming A New Person

I've been
Working like hell
If you can't tell
Each time I fell
I stood up and I feel well now
Grinding all day
Sleeping all night
I'll find a way
To make life right my future's bright

Lately I feel like I'm becoming a new person
But I ain't getting better my mood has just worsened
Cause people around me won't tell me that I'm a jerk and
hate my smirking
I've just been searching
For that version of me that could smile
And mean it for at least a while
Damn that's when I was a child
What happened to me?
Why's it feel like I'm always snapping at me?
Last I was happy is my age subtracting a three
Now all I'm excited for is nappin and sleep
Cause I don't know how to manage
My emotions and I cause damage
Sometimes I wanna vanish
When I'm inschool learning Spanish
And then all my friends from home are fucking jealous
Cause I go to a private school and to them that shit seems hellish
I mean it kinda is but whatever no more I need to embellish
On homies from the past cause my friends from now ain't better
They been condescending to me like I don't know better
And then whenever I try to talk they say I'm a beggar
For attention not to mention my parents say I put no effort
Into my schoolwork but that's all I ever fricking do
So much shit I wish I could go back and then undo
Maybe then I could be normal just like all of you
But no all everyone sees me as is a skinny joking jew
Damn man, only if y'all knew

I've been
Working like hell
If you can't tell
Each time I fell
I stood up and I feel well now
Grinding all day
Sleeping all night
I'll find a way
To make life right my future's bright

But maybe instead of keeping my emotions in stealth
I can talk to somebody or sort it out myself
Cause I'm sick of all this pity
It makes me feel so shitty
Maybe I can get more witty
And ask out that girl who's pretty
First I gotta get rid of my fake monogamous
Cause she turned my heart into a pit that's bottomless
And I wish I could say this and stay anonymous
But I'm putting this out there for those synonyms
Waking up each morning with a frown on their face
Wishing that it was different and they could be in a different place
I'm gotta win and cross the fin for anyone who chase
Contentness cause I'm relentless in this rase.
I'm 17 now, wait til I'm 21,
Cause by then I'll be successful and having plenty fun
And I'll be blocking out and flocking out, walking out, anyone
Who gets in my way, today I've already won

I've been
Working like hell
If you can't tell
Each time I fell
I stood up and I feel well now
Grinding all day
Sleeping all night
I'll find a way
To make life right my future's bright