so close so far

We're in close proximity
Nestled in your core constantly
Walking the wire of morality
But if I feel truth in your warmth
Then why should I isolate
And obey unhappy

Am I deluded because
Lately things are coming to a head
And part of me is torn
Like that notepaper
Clinging on to sentiments said
But initials creeping in
Before I go to bed
They keep me awake
Knowing they've got it
If there's a place to take

So close, so far
I'm jealous of what I encourage
Keep me up
In more ways than one
I try to act like I don't give a damn
So close, so far
Knowing your using habit
Suspect I'm a pawn
But you don't know
Your own strength
In this game of yours
So we stay so close, so far

Is it him you're falling for? Cause
I can't tell
When you're texting him
With me on the floor
Tracing your fingers
And knocking at my door
Am I being ridiculous
For even considering an us? When
There's distance in years
And emotions

You know the hold you've got on me
Pulling me in, god
I can't breathe any air
But yours
Is this just a memorable chapter? Cause
I want more written after
The duality's exhausting me

So close, so far
I'm jealous of what I encourage
Keep me up
In more ways than one
I try to act like I don't give a damn
So close, so far
Knowing your using habit
Suspect I'm a pawn
But you don't know
Your own strength
In this game of yours
So we stay so close, so far