If I Were You Baby, I'd Love Me - Live On The Ed Sullivan Show, September 10, 1950

I got ten zillion dollars, and nothing to do
I own Central Park, and California, too
Chicago and Buffalo, are my states
And I forgot to mention, the five Great Lakes
So, if I were you, baby, I'd love me

I'd have maids and butlers, a big trust fund
A hundred-carat ring that weighs a ton
A yacht, planes, and nine special cooks
A thousand dresses, with all new looks
So, if I were you, baby, I'd love me

Hard times and blues, I don't know what they are
Your trouble's spending money and eating caviar
I don't pay tax, 'cause that's chicken feed
When the mint runs short, I ask them what they need

You're the greatest lover the world has ever known
You're better than Gable or that guy, Tyrone
I'll never find a guy like you as long as I live
'Cause when I give, I really give
So, if I were you, baby, I'd love me

I'm gonna pinch myself, to see if I'm awake
Before I give you that golden wedding cake
Eeoow! I was asleep, so back to the job
For thirty bucks a week
Still, if I were you, baby, I'd love me

You'd hold the money
It don't mean a thing
That's my desire, so, let's have a fling
We must confess to the stars above
Baby, can this be love?

I'd like to go to Europe and Asia too
Anywhere on earth if I could be with you
I'll do all these things for you as long as I live
'Cause when I give, I really give
If I were you, baby, I'd love me

I'm gonna pinch myself, to see if I'm awake
Before I give you that golden wedding cake
Eeoow! I was asleep, so back to the job
For thirty bucks a week
Still, if I were you, baby, I'd love me

If I love you, and you love me
We'd be as happy as we could be
If I were you, I'd love me