Clouds

Yeah, I stare at the clouds when I'm feeling down
Reflecting on life and noticing how
That during the silence, all my thoughts get loud
So I block them out wish she was around
But I guess life has a way of removing the people who do not deserve you
And it has a way of you feeling connected to all those same people that hurt you
I'll be the first to, say I made mistakes
I know deep down, that I am not perfect
Lately I been isolating myself and digging deep to rediscover my purpose
Strangers see me as an artist

But they don't see the pain I bury underneath the surface
I know what I feel inside, I, I just don't know how to word it
We love who hurts us, and hope they can change
Until they hurt us, then hurt us again
Then we start to change, and cause others pain
The cycle repeats, and it doesn't break
A product of trauma, oh god what a shame
Now we hurt those who come along the way
Leaving a trail of victims then complain
How were to damaged and can't be saved

My life ain't where it's suppose to be
I'm losing people close to me
Didn't know cuts were suppose to bleed
What a lie that was sold to me
Ooh, and I'm standing by myself
Staring at the clouds, but feeling hella down
Feeling hella down (yeah)

Hurt people, hurt people, I been hurt plenty
Hurt people, hurt people and I've hurt many
It does upset me, knowing some resent me
Life was unsteady, hope they forgive me
I can't keep spending, my life with regret
The way I was raised, it fucked with my head
That's why I find it so hard to connect
Maybe that's why I left every ex

I only dated woman, so I didn't feel lonely
And ignored the fact that they had all their issues
And I self sabotaged our future, instead of acknowledging
Everything that I been through
Know I forgive you, I wasn't perfect, 'cause we both came from a past
Mine made me fearful, yours made you hurtful
And that's why we didn't last

Some numb their feelings, by taking prescriptions
But I numb my feelings by just sitting with them
I'm wishing that there was a way I can rid them
'Cause it's hitting hard like a two car collision
This isn't me venting or looking for sympathy
This is realizing I need to commit to me
'Cause if I don't then I'ma keep living miserably
These feelings, I'm feeling, are crippling and

My life ain't where it's suppose to be
I'm losing people close to me
Didn't know cuts were suppose to bleed
What a lie that was sold to me
Ooh, and I'm standing by myself
Staring at the clouds, but feeling hella down
Feeling hella down

Feeling hella down