Numb

I feel numb
Got barely any breath left in my lung
Looking back at my life what have I done
Talked a lot of shit with a drunk tongue
I wasted way too much of my time and money on shit I don't need
A victim of my own greed
But fighting is in my blood like Adonis Creed

Laid bare for the world to see
Cause I want you know what's hurting me
Kept my mouth shut for years out of courtesy
But the fire in my chest started burning me
My mum can't see what I'm meant to be
Said I'm losing my identity
But I can't lose what I ain't got
Can't be right if there ain't wrong
Gotta take a leap of faith if at this rate if I fall fuck it I fall
Got a lot to eat on my plate I just ate still not fucking full
I get told a lot of advice worth twopence as if I'm begging for change
Shit like that I can't entertain
Brings out a side of me I meant to tame

I feel numb
Down my cheek tears never run
Hauntin dreams till the morning sun
Looking down the barrel of a loaded gun
I see no evil hear no evil speak
In the back of my mind they're buried deep
With all the memories that gave my heart a dent
Every now and then to the front they creep like

I feel numb
Never took drugs maybe I should do some
My girl tried to call me but the phone never rung
Shit, she woulda saved me from doing something dumb
Now I'm fucking the world pumping it with semen
Living amongst both angels and demons
Can't have one without the other
Kinda like a Gallagher brother

Those that knew me when I had hair know
I will never give in to my fear no
Even if the road leads to nowhere no
I'll still walk with the same flair you know
This world made me fucking heartless
Made me put on my armours
All of us growing up without fathers
Forgive our mothers who struggle to calm us
Often ungrateful maybe just unable
To accept love when shit feels unstable
Clothes, hot water, food on the table
Hungry for dinner but still left a plate full
Eastenders and a couple lectures
Harder to balance with half the protectors
We all have to grow and learn
Maybe now it's my turn

I feel numb
For years I've looked like a bad son
Cause I barely speak a word to my mum
She's set in her ways and I'm still young
Without regret the pain I accept
With all due respect what did you expect
I've barely slept need time to reflect
Let me clear my debt God come collect

Now breathe
Breathe
Just breathe
Let me fucking breathe