Ex-Wives

Divorced
Beheaded
Died
Divorced
Beheaded
Survived
And tonight, New York City, we are
Live

Listen up, let me tell you a story
A story that you think you've heard before
We know you know our names, and our fame, and our faces
Know all about the glories and the disgraces

I'm done, 'cause all this time
I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme
So I picked up a pen and a microphone
History's about to get overthrown

Divorced, beheaded, died
Divorced, beheaded, survived
But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Raising up the roof 'til we hit the ceiling
Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives
New York, make some noise!

All you ever hear and read about
Is our ex and the way it ended
But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush
You're gonna find out how he got unfriended

Tonight, we're gonna do ourselves justice
'Cause we're taking you to court
Every Tudor rose has its thorns
And you're gonna hear 'em live
In consort

Divorced, beheaded, died
Divorced, beheaded, survived
But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Dancing through the night 'til the break of day
Once we're done, we'll start again like it's the Renaissance
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

Remember us, from PBS?

(Divorced) my name is Catherine of Aragon
Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon of royalty
My loyalty is to the Vatican
So if you try to dump me, you won't try that again

(Beheaded) I'm that Boleyn girl, and I'm up next
See, I broke England from the Church
Yeah, I'm that sexy
Why did I lose my head?
Well, my sleeves may be green
But my lipstick's red

(Died) Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved (rude)
When my son was newly born, I died
But I'm not what I seem, or am I?
Stick around and you'll suddenly see more

(Divorced) Ich bin Anna of Cleves (ja!)
When he saw my portrait, he was like (ja!)
But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry's little-

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head (beheaded)
For my promiscuity outside of wed
Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons
K-Howard is here and the fun's begun

(Survived) five down, I'm the final wife
I saw him to the end of his life
I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr
I bet you wanna know how I got this far
I said I bet you wanna know how I got this far
Do you wanna know how we got this far? Then

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Come on! Come on! Come on!

Get your hands up, get this party buzzing
You want a queen bee? Well, there's half a dozen
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Ah-ahh, wives
But now we're ex-wives

One, two, three, four, five
Six!