Numbstruck

I should have seen this coming
Blinded by disbelief and selfishness
Where's my selflessness
Desperate for answers to this feeling of emptiness
What else would you expect from me
Worried sick but saying nothing

Don't worry, forget it
It's not important or too healthy
To think of all this as anything other than permanent
I'll bite the bullet, call myself on my bullshit
All these places pass me by
It's been so long

I wonder why... I miss my old bed in the old house that I grew up in
I can't think of it, but I have been
But I don't wanna wish for things to change
Cause I swear nothing ever stays the same these days
I'll say
I'm quite numb to disdain, though I prefer the rain

I locked my own keys in my car again
Can't fall asleep and now it's two AM
Could you believe, in being so naive
That I'd shut you out just to relieve my morbid curiosity
I'm numb

And I don't wanna wish for things to change
Cause I swear nothing ever stays the same these days
I'll say
I'm quite numb to disdain
Though I still maintain the sick in my brain
I'm thirsty for answers, so give me some rain
Or a feeling that just feels more humane