What I Think Happens When We Die

I didn't hold on tight enough
I couldn't breathe for you, my love
But if I meet a god above
I'll tell them that I didn't give up

White knuckles, glassy eyes
Black clothing, this is my heavenly disguise
On my knees begging for them to let me in
Don't let it all be for nothing

I never thought that the end would look like this
No parting words, no bitter kiss
If I could cry, I would, you know
It's better than the parting dumb-show

These velvet cushions feel so nice
But now I'm finally out of sight
I wish I could share what I can see
I'm nothing more than a memory

And if you miss me to death
I'll be sad to know that my last breath
Was spent not on loving you
But wallowing in a morbid vignette

Off comes the mask, off come the gloves
Into my veins go the last drugs
To kick me off the riverbank
As last words go, I'm drawing a blank

Something meaningful, something wise
Something comforting, to wipe the tears from your eyes
I hope you'll hear it in my tone
I'm not just leaving you alone

I held your hand and you held mine
We toasted glasses of red wine
You said my hands were both so cold
I promised we would never grow old

And as her patience grew so thin
The moment came to let her in
Maybe this was the best goodbye
The last thing I saw was your beautiful eyes

And if you miss me to death
I'll be glad to know that my last breath
Was spent on loving you
And basking in our morbid vignette