In the Light (feat. Meaghan Murphy)

Up for 3 days straight, sittin' here wide awake
No appetite but still got a lot on my plate
No rest for the wicked, I'm still payin' for some sins
I know I'm the one who made this bed I'm layin' in
My whole life I knew this was no way to live
In the dark, tryin' to switch to light like Aunt Viv
I'm not addicted, I'm just goin' through a storm now
That's what I tell myself when I need to calm down
Been goin' through it since the day I left the court house
Pulled up on Boylston and got drunk at the Pour House
Won't bore you with details, I'm just tryin' to prevail
Missed out on a lot of blessings but I need them even more now
Still ain't right with how it all went down
Watchin' my friends disappear, we in the end game now
Had lots of people in my circle but no one in my corner
Had to see the signs to know it was out of order

These changing winds that force us apart
Lead us away through the cold winter night

These voices call my name in the dark
Lost in the words they say and blinded in the light

I can't let you get close
I can't let you get close
I can't let you get close
I can't let you get close

I missed Ryan's wedding, missed Chuck's too
Sometimes it's like my anxiety's this big 'fuck you'
And there's nothin' much I can do
Except get right back to business, mic check, 1, 2
My man asked me if I'm still gon' do the music
The city down bad, he think they could really use it
Could see it in his eyes, he ain't recognize my face
I ain't have the words to tell him that I'm in a different place
How you suppose to fill a void you never knew it was hollow
I guess you could add up all this Adderall I swallowed
Tryin' to find a message at the bottom of this bottle
Afraid to wake up and do it all again tomorrow
Searchin' for Heaven but livin' in Hell though
Hit rock bottom and life followed up with the People's Elbow
Can't lament over what it all meant
Or waste time wishin' that my time was better spent
What happens next is up to the man above me
Say my goodbyes and disappear somewhere sunny
Maybe me and Melanie will buy a spot out in the country
Quiet, big space, we could let the kids run free
But for now I still got scars that need healing, cards that need dealing
The car got no ceiling
The money got no feelings, this bullet got no conscience
One day at a time, I got no other options

These changing winds that force us apart
Lead us away through the cold winter night

These voices call my name in the dark
Lost in the words they say and blinded in the light

I can't let you get close
I can't let you get close
I can't let you get close
I can't let you get close