Everywhere And Nowhere

Autumn comes and my leaves begin to fall
Through the seasons, nothing changes at all
I hoped one day I'd call you mine
But now, I know, that day is no longer in sight
Feel my roots harden at your poor scrawl
Through the changes, I hear your dying drawl
My only wish is to go back in time
Before I ever asked to call you mine

Winter comes, bringing its endless snow
For the earth, through its seasons, comes to know
Even in death there can still be life
And knowledge, though rife, it brings endless strife
Westbound rivers still run but I do not
My heartbeat slows, but it hasn't yet stopped
I have come home to where I don't belong
And I'm trying so hard to still feel young

And Spring comes, delivering a life anew
Feel the rain graze my pale grey skin with dew
I hope I have learned something from you
If only it was to shroud my heart into
A fragment of the purity I held true
And the heart, it beats blood, but not for me
Broken into these fragments, spills from leaves
Life springs forth from this desolate misery

Summer comes, bringing a golden sunset
Boundless love locked away in an archet
Slumberously waiting for the mind to whet
Syzygies start to write their eulogies
As I run towards misyoken tragedy
And I have learned but still I can't seem to
Know if you loved me like I had loved you
But it is nothing I have not been through

I am the bearer and the witness
Of all the hurt you lovingly doled me
How could I ever forget this
How could I ever forgive myself?
I still see your name in every corner
I still see the scars you tried to repair, and
I still see you in my shunted daydreaming
Holding hands on a train off to nowhere

The day of disillusionment has come
I've been running all my life to find myself a brand new life
But I can no longer deny it
The burdens of my past will haunt me to my grave
You're not who they're looking for, they tell me
There's nothing wrong with you, except your looks
A man who's got his life together, or
A man who looks nicer on the eye
That's not you, they say