Bob the Spider

I was sitting in my bedroom
Walkin' cross the street
That's when I heard a ringing
Come from inside my sheet
Out came a pretty woman
By the name of Billie Joe
She asked me why she called me
And I said that I don't know
She quickly ran away
And turned into a microwave
Guess I'll heat the pizza
That my yoga teacher gave
I looked up at the ceiling
And what a pretty sky
The stars were way too close
And in made me want to die
Made me want to die
Made me want to die
Made me want to die
Made me want to pie
Back at the supermarket
Where I used to drive my car
An alien invasion came way up
From mars
As random as that sounds
My shoe fell off the ladder
I asked the cashier man
Sir, what size is you're bladder?
He said that he had no idea
Maybe ask Shane over there
He wears the skirt with rolled up sleeves
And surely doesn't care
Hello Shane I am Adam
What is your name and address
He threw me out the store
And I fell right on my chest
Right on my chest
Right on my chest
Right on my chest
Right on my chest
Lying on the grass
I turned on the TV
And hey what do you know
It was a picture of me
I ran inside the bathroom
To make some lemonade
This is when is all gets blurry
And my memory starts to fade
I looked closely at my drink
But it turns out it was a spider
I think his name was Bob
And he was holding up a lighter
Then I sat on the toilet
To make my pain be gone
I did a number two
Because Bob is number one
Bob is number one
Bob is number one
Bob is number one
Bob is number one

Yuh