The Funky Grass Band

A small town in Kentucky that's called Hazzard
Has been known to lay some talent on this land
Gave birth to a group that's really happenin'
Eli Stubbs and his Funky Grass Band
The Funky Grass Band hits the stage a grinnin'
Their pickin' really turns a body on
Now I wouldn't say the band makes too much money
'Cause they been seen a smokin' roll-you-home

Yellow bus come weavin' down the highway
Headin' for another one night stand
Where the women scream and faint and throw their babies
At Eli Stubbs and his Funky Grass Band

Now Eli's a little older, and short and stubby
And he's bald as an eagle in the back
But he kept it hid from all the friends and neighbors
Til' one night the band got high and smoked his hat
Now Eli brought himself a brand new toupée
It was long and shaggy, and sorta orangey red
One night the fiddle player was a dancin' to the microphone
And pulled the rug clean off Eli's head

Yellow bus come weavin' down the highway
Headin' for another one night stand
Where the women scream and faint and throw their babies
At Eli Stubbs and his Funky Grass Band

One night they was a travelin' through the Ozarks
And Eli had to answer nature's call
He told the driver to find a filling station
I gotta see a man about a dog
He drove on for miles around the mountains
Eli hollered "Hey, stop right here!"
The driver pulled too close to the canyon
And Eli almost ended his career

Yellow bus come weavin' down the highway
Headin' for another one night stand
Where the women scream and faint and throw their babies
At Eli Stubbs and his Funky Grass Band

Oh, get it Eli, son, crank it, crank it, crank it Eli