Science Denial

I still cringe when you cross my mind
A shudder and a shiver where I should have a spine
You know you should've been mine
But you got away just in time

Binge-watching bad memories
On an endless reel where my brain used to be
Still reeling from what you said to me

'Cause you called me selfish
And I got defensive
All these years later it's now the consensus
Everybody I've met since then has said it
I'm starting to think you're pretty perceptive

Now I don't wonder what went wrong anymore
With every failed experiment
At every toxic marriage's rotten core
I am the common element

And now I wish I could turn back time
So I could turn and run when we first lock eyes
You were a vision that night
A premonition haunting me in hindsight

But I'm still carrying the torch for you
Burning bridges over troubled water trying to
Outrun the inevitable truth

'Cause you said you just wanted to see me happy
I never even saw you looking at me
Looking back now I think maybe you actually
Saw through me and knew we
Were bound to end badly

I don't have to wonder what went wrong anymore
With every failed experiment
At every toxic marriage's rotting core
I am the common element

Don't have to wonder what went wrong anymore
With every failed experiment
I just keep scrawling across the drawing board
Dreaming up new embarrassments