Way Too Much

Lately I've just been rolling
Just listen to Whitney smoking
While I'm planning my direction
But don't know witch way I'm going
Chose a road not many go though
I been working on my growth know
I'm a man of imperfections
I account for that round it up treat it like a numbers game
Now I'm up, why you throwing shade on a sunny day huh
Why you wanna play when I won the game oh
Why you never say what you want to say I
Have too many here depending on me
Some I found pretending on me
Others called 'em friends and robbed me
But God got me got the pendant on me
Jaw dropping with the pen game on me
I need a check for this eh
This feeling been taking over
Don't remember a day I'm sober
I don't drink but I been smoking way too much lately
Numb this pain instead of closure
All this weight thats on my shoulders
Makes me think that I been holding way to much lately

I been holding way to much
I been sipping way to much
I been smoking way too much lately
I been feeling way too much
Man I feel I need a crutch uh

This is therapy
Wheres my parents, we don't care to speak
No crying at my casket when they bury me
I don't have 6 people round me who would carry me
I don't have 6 people round me who I care to be
And that's a problem
Though I acknowledge It's been weighing on my conscience
I just leave it up to god while they been praying on my losses
I don't celebrate the victories or say what i've accomplished
What I've done's not who I am forever changing with the process
I've been
Afraid of making progress
Been ashamed for being honest
Can't relate to being flawless
When my sister went to college mom became an alcoholic
While i've grown to be a man without a father to be honest
This feeling been taking over
Don't remember a day I'm sober
I don't drink but I been smoking way too much lately
Numb the pain instead of closure
All this weight thats on my shoulders
Makes me think that I been holding way to much lately