Katatonic Kwan

There's a lot of people out there
That perceive me as this jovial person
That's full of laughter and a lot of joy to share to the world
But that cannot be further from the truth

On the Prozac, and a few steps from toe tag
Shell of myself, decompose while my woes drag
Under my nose and erode as my bones sag
Juxtapose with a younger soul, where's the hope at
Go through the motions with no clear motives
Only rags, no riches, here's the toll of my baggage
That I carry around, appear to be sound
But in silence, I hide behind the tears of a clown

Drugs only numb the pain
They don't really hide anything
These problems never go away
Just like these haters, so laugh now cry later
Drugs only numb the pain
They don't really hide anything
These problems never go away
Just like these haters, so laugh now cry later

Kept in the dark that I got no wattage
As gone is the spark in my eyes, melancholic
Mental breakdown from the stress, catabolic
Was there anything left? Then I felt catatonic
There's no question, depressed and lost
I'm the product and cause of these messed up thoughts
If my worth to be pawned, I'm dirt on a gauze
At the very least, everybody loves you when you're gone

Drugs only numb the pain
They don't really hide anything
These problems never go away
Just like these haters, so laugh now cry later
Drugs only numb the pain
They don't really hide anything
These problems never go away
Just like these haters, so laugh now cry later

Endlessly fret with the heaviness of debt
On my bed, existential dread, threatened by death
I'm feeling resentment for all my time spent
Dwelling in my own head, left hung by a thread
In a world of misery that loves having company
I rather spare you from the trouble that comforts me
If you do come for me, I'll push you away
I don't want to burden you, it's for your own sake