Dasani Gave Me Polio (this is so sad)

I think that's it...
Po, ooh
Nesbith Dungle, Whoville Competitive Bingo Camp

I don't drink Dasani
It's not my thing (Nah, nah, nah)
Boutta make me switch from Google to the Bing (You know it)
Don't wanna put that no-no water in my bloodstream
Microplastics in my body
I don't like that fuckin' scheem (Straight up)
Dasani Bottles
Filling the Grand Canyon
Coca-Cola
A bunch of rapscallions
I got death squads at your HQ
Nothin' new (Nothin' new)
They be sippin' Mountain Dew (Mountain Dew)
We only drinkin' Schnucks brand water in my home
Imma take these empty bottles and I'll throw 'em at your dome
Big shoutout Eternal Wave for this watery beat
Hold up guys
I need to take a quick seat, seat, seat

Every time I think about Dasani I cry
I cry a million times (Cry a million times)
Every time I drink it, one hundred children die
(One hundred children die, one hundred children die) (Eternal Wave)
Think about the ocean
All the fish that you've killed (No)
A million tiny creatures
All the blood that you've spilled (No)
My daughter tried Dasani and she broke her right knee (No)
Screaming and pleading
Now I got PTSD (No)
Oh gee
I hate Dasani (Hah)
It gave me polio in both of my kidneys (Hey)
In my eyes and my spleen
In my eyes, in my kidneys
In my spleen, in my thighs
In my feet, in my cleats
In my meat
Dasani resurrected Osama Bin Laden
Gave him a milli
Now he's friends with Joe Biden (Huh)
Funding wars against Ukraine
Abolishing your soup
Stealing all our souls
Turning us to goop (Goop)

Went to a concert (Whoo)
Fit For A King (Yes)
Needed me a drink (Hhh)
I was dehydrating (Woo)
Went to the counter and I asked for a water
They only got Dasani and it would cost me four dollars (No way)
Asked my body "what you think, man?" (No way)
Body said, "man, I ain't drinkin' that, man" (No way)
I replied, "that's true brother, Dasani be the worst"
Thirty minutes later
I passed away from thirst

If you have a heart
You must end this drink
Support the gracious cause and put them on the brink
Money laundering
Is their only hope
Call your boys at CLF and you'll look like a pope (Eternal Wave)

Bow, ba-ba-bow
Ba-ba-bow, ba-ba-bow
Bow, bow
Bow, bow, bow, bow
Ba-ba-ba-ba-bow
Ba-na-now
Ba-na-now
Mama, mama, ma
Mama, mama mia (Mama mia, mama, mama)
Mama mia



Credits
Writer(s): Jacob Gebel
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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