Pearly Gates

1945 La vida ave
It was there I had something a lot of people didn't have
A good house a good mom with a good dad
And just cause shits good don't mean it can't go bad
Damn the shits so sad my depression wasn't a fad
Tired of seeing momma cry I just want to make her glad
Sometimes it feels like I can't help
That shits got me so mad
Mix the pain with the drugs that's some shit you shouldn't add

I miss my brothers
And how everything used to be
I've seen a lot of shit so some of this new shit ain't news to me
I've shook the hands of many people who's main intention was using me
I know I'm all over the place you're probably thinking you're losing me

I had a good childhood until I was 11
12 28 2013
My daddy went to heaven
I remember his red hot rod I can still hear the engine revin
Back when I was a angel in the outfield wearing seven

Sorry I can't get to the phone
Lost in my thoughts I'm all alone
I'm sorry mom I didn't mean it when I responded with a tone
Think I drove myself mad tryna get to know the unknown
God please say something to me think I need to atone
And I don't want to die but it's already written in stone

Or maybe it's written in the sky
I don't know where
I don't know why
I tell the truth you tell a lie
I tell the truth you tell a lie
So that why I gotta get high
Yeah I do it just to get by

You ripped my broken heart right out of my chest
I feel dead inside but I still can't get any rest
You'll never find nobody like me you should know I'm the best
It's a scary sight for them when they see I'm different than the rest

Knocking at the door momma's crying what I'm sposed to do
She said it's your dad looking at my brother like he has a clue
All I could really see was red and all I could really feel was blue
How can I lie about this understand that what I say is true

I'm at the hospital
I don't know what's going on
I'm steady hoping that he make it
So much running through my head the pain of death I can't take it
Take a breath I can't fake it
See the demons coming
God help me don't think I can shake it

Everybody's crying and the clouds are closing in
The doctor came out to say his life came to an end
Tears fell to the ground and depression had grown within
Faith began to leave and the devil had shown his grin
Life has put the pressure on it's time to fold or bend
Thinking about heaven and hell and what really counts as a sin
Thinking about the Pearly gates and will he let me in
Will he let me in
Will he let me in

1945 La Vida Ave