Deadlocked

"Why the hell are you standing there
With blank wet eyes and no sound to share?", you say
"I'm fine", a voice replies
But that's not me, you know I lie
It feels like a spell that is haunting me
An addiction, obsession that holds my hand
It makes me board the boat of the ferryman
And he drags me to the hell inside my head
And there I created a confessional
To hide my thoughts so far from myself
And row after row I understand
It's me that guide this boat to the end

I knew a man whose life was great and everyday he lived was a sunny day
And when there were no snags on the road
He felt it so comfortable to go right straight to the goal
But when things go wrong even the strongest can fall
And when you're down on the ground life starts its showdown
So welcome to kingdom of the ones that refuse to go down
And only if you bleed you can aim for the crown

Lost round after round, with my face on the ground
But now the numbness makes me indifferent
Don't you believe I'm anesthetized?
When I cry it's only the allergy to the world outside

And maybe I like to be hurt
I'm not insane
I'm just so scared, I deadlocked myself
And chose to wear chains
If it can keep me safe from the life out there
Yeah, I swear it's a burden I can bear
A burden I can bear

I made my world turn into grey, now the sea is flat, the sun is pale
And I seem to love my condition
And you see surprise in my eyes when you find tears on my pillow
"No they're not mine", I keep growling
But you know that I'm stubborn and I'm a lying man
This is the same old tale, over and over again

Lost round after round, with my face on the ground
But now the numbness makes me indifferent
Don't you believe I'm anesthetized?
When I cry it's only the allergy to the world outside
Lost round after round, with my face on the ground
But now the numbness makes me indifferent
Don't you believe I'm anesthetized?
When I cry it's only the allergy to the world outside

And maybe I like to be hurt
I'm not insane
I'm just so scared, I deadlocked myself
And chose to wear chains
If it can keep me safe from the life out there
Yeah, I swear it's a burden I can bear
A burden I can bear

Here I stay, my place forsaken
So close and yet so far away
Here I pray for you to find me
Beyond the haze, the way to bring me back to life

And maybe I like to be hurt
I'm not insane
I'm just so scared, I deadlocked myself
And chose to wear chains
If it can keep me safe from the life out there
Yeah, I swear it's a burden I can bear
A burden I can bear