Kerosene

I've burned myself up for so long
Just waiting for someone to put me out
I've beat myself down for all my wrongs
Just waiting for the right to come out
I've laid alone here in this darkness
Waiting for the light to find me
I felt so damned but I tried my hardest
To quell this fire inside me

It keeps raging on and on like the waves at sea
Dragging like an anchor in a grave of my own grief

These midnight skies are clouded in my mind
I've poured this kerosene but could you spare a light?
These thoughts keep spinning 'round and 'round
On this carousel burning to the ground
Alone in the spaces in my head, just waiting to be found

I'm pulling apart at the seams, this darkness swallowing me
Goddamnit, what I'd give to just be free
I'm buried in waters so cold, drowning in all my lost hope
Reaching for a light that I can hardly see
Cause I've felt myself sinking so low
Struggling against this undertow
And I've felt this cold calm slipping in
Reaching out for the surface, spread so thin

It keeps slipping through my hands like the wind at sea
Shining like the North Star, burning bright just to spite me

These midnight skies are clouded in my mind
I've poured this kerosene but could you spare a light?
These thoughts keep spinning 'round and 'round
On this carousel burning to the ground
Alone in the spaces in my head, just waiting to be-

To be fine with all these scars that just won't heal
Fine with getting high so I don't feel
Fine with showing smiles that just are not real
Are you even real?
Cause there's a black hole inside of me
Swallowing the light that's dying to get free
Can I ever just be free?

These midnight skies are clouded in my mind
I've poured this kerosene but could you spare a light?
These thoughts keep spinning 'round and 'round
On this carousel burning to the ground
Alone in the spaces in my head, just waiting to be found