Vanlife

Well I quit my job making minimum wage
I look fairly well twice and act half my age
I'm looking for somewhere that can handle the rage
Of a young man on the run

With rarely paid taxes and shitty insurance
And a glove box full of summons and warrants
And a finely-tuned wish that things were that weren't
You could say I was lookin' for fun

So I bought an '01 red Dodge Ram
Bought two pints of whiskey and a 30 of Hamm's
Now I'm peein' in bottles and eatin' from cans
But ya can't call me homeless, cause I live in a van

They call it...
Vanlife, I been told this
It's a fine life, I've been sold this
But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it
Let's roll up, let's blow this!

Well the 7-Eleven is a sure bellyache
I subsist on a mere wake-and-bake
Talledaga to Chicago's lakes
I'll take your largest queso

And all the girls from Chickamauga to Passamaquoddy
Speak enviously of my van's rusty body
And this old thing might just be a Bugatti
The way I get it from sixty to zero

Yeah I'm sixty miles of Fargo on a northern track
I'm burnin rubber, no lookin' back
Pushin' that thang like a maniac
I get tipped out like a stripper, in singles and crack
Man I wish someone would fund Amtrak

Instead it's the...
Vanlife, I been told this
It's a fine life, I've been sold this
But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it
Let's roll up, let's blow this!

Well the south of San Louie can be a lil' gritty
It's a far cry from Seattle's tent cities
All in all life's pretty pretty
From the Starship Enterprise

Still a guy with a house and a big old lawn
Thinks his block's too good for me to park on
And bangs on my door with a letter that tells
About a thousand ways he can make my life hell

And he's worse than the guy who put a brick through my glass
Robbed me blind and siphoned the gas
At least I know that guy needed it bad
Oh I wish that old boy well

In the meantime a cop is bangin' on my door
Tellin' me I can't park here no more
And what can you do, friends, whaddaya say?
Gotta rev up the engine and drive away
Chalk it up to the...

Vanlife, I been told this
It's a fine life, I've been sold this
But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it
Let's roll up, let's blow this!

It's a sexy kinda lifestyle for certain folks
Fractal highways, friends like smoke
It all goes up and you end up alone
It's like the internet is your real home

Call of the wild, call of the road
The endless search for a clean commode
I'm a trucker of emotive payloads
Backed up on guitar

Yeah I'm a public park patron, library sleuth
I'm a thrift store grifter of Western suits
Wringin' out three chords and the truth
Like a washrag on the bar

Every time I'm feeling down on my luck
Think I might trade it in for a coupla bucks
Here's some guy like Elon Musk
Talking about how we're all gonna get cyber trucks
And I think, God
Life must be easy when you're one of these dang rich...
Gentlemen

And I'm pretty sure that I prefer the...
Vanlife, I been told this
It's a fine life, I've been sold this
But it's a fine line between having to and choosin' it

Let's roll up
Let's smoke 'er down
It's a big rig, new town
It's the same old night
The whole world over
Whole world over
Sittin' sad and wonderin' why
Meritocracy's a lie
Oh let's blow this!