iLLusive Thoughts

I'm punctual for the commas
Non functional to the drama
Calmer when I'm under pressure
Some niggas settle for lesser
I'm stronger when the competitions better
Anybody tryna bait me they been fishing forever
I been gettin' this cheddar
I ain't tryna approve a loan forever
Some things I've known forever
Like people wont be themselves and try and clone whoever
The tone forever's been I'm focused on my own endeavors
My owned endeavors
Everything ill
I just been minding my biz
Thoughts of my new crib and still ain't got my mind on no kids
'Cause back to things I've known forever
I was taught to first get the rings and make a home forever
I been on whatever
The things I never write I'm prolly scared of it
Some days I prolly wouldn't open up to a therapist
Hilarious
Cuz I'm aware of it
Ignoring ya problems that don't take care of it
Sometimes I just carry it like surrogate, uh

All these thoughts in my mind racing
These voices in my head saying that I can't win
I don't know how to control it
(It won't go away)
It's out of control
Only lord knows
Battling these thoughts feeling like I'm at war
I gotta hold my head lift it up like it's suicide doors
I don't know how to control it
(It won't go away)
It's out of control, it won't go away

No rest for the weary
I been testing the theory
I'm naturally distant, I'm stressed when you near me
People don't listen to what I'm saying
And then stress that they hear me
If you hate me don't cheer me
Just confess that you fear me
I'm blessed do you hear me
But that get fuzzy when you testing me clearly
Show me you love me before we resting and dearly departed
Don't want no snakes near me
That's why I'm still with the people that was here when we started
This life is crazy
It really hit me when my friend hit me and said she lost the baby
The news said a kid got shot she was just a baby
Things starting to taze me that ain't use to phase
Like living past 21 'cause that was just a maybe
My dreams of suicide doors used to be my vital thoughts
Till I learned my dog was fucked up
Having suicidal thoughts
I thought that everything was good the times you and I would talk
And I still don't check on you like I should and that's my fault, damn

All these thoughts in my mind racing
These voices in my head saying that I can't win
I don't know how to control it
(It won't go away)
It's out of control
Only lord knows
Battling these thoughts feeling like I'm at war
I gotta hold my head lift it up like it's suicide doors
I don't know how to control it
(It won't go away)
It's out of control, it won't go away

I don't know how to control it
It's out of control, it won't go away