Wonder

I think it's time to step aside and let it go
My feelings got to a point where they are too cold to show
I think it's pride that's telling me I should man up and leave
But I can not put all those tricks back on my sleeve no more

Is this really me
Or am I faking everything
Just for the sake of putting one girl over anything
I just don't wish for you to hate me over anything
I'm writing songs but all these songs don't change a single thing

And now it's me myself and I the only ones to hate
I see you walking with that dress and I can't tolerate
The thoughts of me and you going to prom but as a date
Getting a call from mom dad asking why am I out so late

I'm bleeding my feelings in this beat tell me do you like the sound
A lake of tears I see myself I wanna jump and drown
You know I see you every time I go down to your town
I don't want to but that just happens when I drive around

I wonder if this is me
I wonder if you miss me
I wonder who you call everytime that you wanna diss me
I wonder who you love with the same passion you loved disney
I wonder would you take the chances even if they're risky

I wonder who am I after what I did to you
I wonder who am I after what that did to me
I wonder how the things are going with me and you
I wonder if you thought a single time if it was meant be

I don't want the answers but tell me why you ain't the same
You took a path that wasn't good but who am I to blame
You were a candle I was the one who lit up the flame
You started shining bright right when I started becoming rain

My heart is beating fast
These feelings never last
This pain is worst than all the traumas I had in the past
While you're having a blast
I pour henny on a glass
Im laying in my backyard im putting tears down in my grass

I keep looking for these questions that hide deep inside my mind
Im finding parts of me that I thought I'd never find
Then I get back on my knees praying to God for just for a sign
I say I'll let you go then I pretend like everything is fine

I keep lying im trying to let it out
I'm seeing how my life is passing and I'm missing out
And now my mic is something I could never live without
Reciting bout our stories but i don't like saying my thoughts out loud

I'm fighting demons and I think I'm loosing
Locked in my room producing
You hear these melodies but never think for once I'm using
The pain I got from March 16th but now it's when bruising
But now it's getting worst I'm looking at the path you're choosing

I write so much to let it out God I wish I could cry
Why do I keep hurting myself just so I see you try
They say time is gonna heal it but time is passing by
I deserve this this is my tooth for tooth this is my eye for eye

This isn't gonna end well
I hope this message blends well
They always ask for where I am but never how is Denzel
Surrounded by these drugs God I think I'm going mental
Give me your heart again I promise that I'll be gentle

Shooting all the veins in my heart and going on killing spree
I find blood around my body I shoot again maybe two times or three
I want you dead is what I hear from the deepest of me
I'll stay alive I won't let a single feeling get to me

But fuck this shit I'll get over it
I know I will
I said I'm done but I'm thinking about you still
It's like my legs don't hurt it's like the second time I climb the hill
I'm trynna find the biggest thoughts so my mind gets fulfilled