If It Matters Now

What does it mean to you
What did I even do
To make you feel like this
That we wouldn't get through
You'd leave before you even begin
Even if I would always choose you

I said a million times
That we would be alright
If you'd just hold me close
And hold me tight
Never wanted to go
But now don't wanna stay and fight
I just want you to know
That I tried

But it don't feel like it even matters now
My brain is so scattered now
How did it end up like this
I was learning my patterns
Made it so easy to miss
All your red flags
Wish I'd seen that

It could be better
And I'd feel better without you
Used to feel a lot of feelings
Then learned not to
You'd praise my learning
Then record my mistakes
Said it was okay
It was never really okay

You said you hated that
Or I should just understand
No questions or explanations
It's just the way it is
No need to change it
If you're happy
I should be happy too, so

Why am I crying almost every night
Why are we fighting if things are just fine
But it don't
Feel like it
No, it don't feel like it
And it's not right

It don't feel like it even matters now
My brain is so scattered
How did it end up like this
I was learning my patterns
Made it so easy to miss
All your red flags
Wish I'd seen that

It could be better
And I'd feel better without you
Used to feel a lot of feelings
Then learned not to
Wish I could say it'd be okay
But I'm done taking the blame
It's not okay
It was never really okay



Credits
Writer(s): Sarah Dingrando
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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