Wannabe

Don't doubt, don't doubt
Shut off your mind, shut up your mouth
Keep working, head down
Don't take a break you'll fall out
Gotta grind more, gotta be more, gotta be the best version of yourself
"Take your headphones off, don't listen to the music"
If you say it loud enough maybe it's true and
Spend a day inside my mind, it's suffocating
Got Ivies climbing up your sleeves
Reaching for the golden league
Is this what I want to be?
Is this where I want to be?

You tell me what to be
When there are things that you can't see
Turning your back, oh no don't take me back
So how can you say "be yourself" when you have expectations?
And you make me say
"This is what I want to be"

Don't know what I want but I know I can't do this
Crying while I wonder "why'd I push through it?"
Tell myself that I can go through all the pain
Just to play into a system with a good name (woo)
Wanna harmonise but I'm handling quadratics
Writing this verse but I don't really know what rap is
808s beating in my chest
Really want to know what's next
For me, for me
Is it all planned
Am I your golden child? Am I a good man?
Does my GPA tell me the day
I'm gonna go "If I don't grow my future's gonna slip away"
"Failing," I say when I don't do what they say
Silent highways, now I'm almost at heyday (yeah)
They said it'll be okay someday
Stain the carpet red, hope I trip on the runway

Tell me what I don't know
Tugging at strings like I'm just a toy in your puppet show
Said I'd take a hard blow
Look naive but I promise that I'm not your Pinocchio
"Brave truthful and unselfish", is it really moral if you sell it?
Lock me up in a cell if that means you can make it out

Throw a thousand children in a battle for their diligence
Innocence is villainous
There's a necessary cornerstone they have no definition of
White lies like a "winsomeness"
It's too hollow for me
Even then I cling to empty dreams
Fake reliabilities
Clay bones breaking under pressure, where did all the gems go?
This is what I wanna be