Psychology Taught Me

Psychology taught me that mutual self-disclosure helps develop intimacy
And I believe that that is why I share too many things too quickly

I read superheroes because I am a nerd in a hipster's body
I love Superman because I like pushing against the norm of society
I watch Spider-Man because he inspires me
I like coffee
I drink it until my chest starts hurting and no
That is not hyperbole
Maybe all of that caffeine contributed to my anxiety and stuttering
I have panic attacks because I worry about having panic attacks
I have dealt with depression stacked on top of all of that just underneath my smile
I love Jesus but sometimes that's a struggle
I love things that are philosophical and maybe that's why I doubt
My biggest dream is meeting a girl falling in love and starting a family
But I am scared it won't happen
I told my best friend that over ping-pong at 12:01am
I overthink literally everything which is something that keeps me from being happy
Maybe that played a part in my depression and anxiety
I like fashion because it's one of the few things that makes me feel confident in my body

Is this over sharing

Psychology taught me that mutual self-disclosure helps develop intimacy
I love every aspect of your being
I want to learn your heart and sync mine to its beating
I want to teach you to waltz to the symphony in its strings
I think I am falling
God this is scary

I start to wonder what your opinion will be when it comes to different things about me
I wonder if you hate guys wearing skinny jeans
I wonder if you think its unattractive when guys have ink
How will you react when I tell you that I got matching tattoos with my ex-girlfriend
And what will you think when you realize that no
I'm not kidding
Will you find my obsessive personality annoying or will you think it makes me a well Rounded human being
Are you going to hate my poetry because you think it's too angsty
Or will you think it perfectly balances sadness and comedy
Are you going to hate it when I forget to shave and have patches of stubble
Are you going to think that I am not worth the trouble

Psychology taught me that breathing and talking slowly can help stuttering
Psychology taught me that shifting my focus can calm anxiety
Psychology taught me that positively affirming can help lessen depression

You distract me from my brain racing and I focus on your voice
You tell me you like my pants and that most guys don't have the confidence to pull of Plaid
You found that endearing
I smiled and said thank you through stuttering
You smiled back
The edges of you mouth curving upward as you faced me was calming
And for a moment
That smile was the only thing of which I was thinking