Who Gives a Hoot

I'm a being of immense power!
Come roll up to me wizard's tower!
One two three ill make you cower
The full moon's out the time is now-ah

To take revenge, to strike thou back!
Cling film over the bog when you shat
I'm a master of magic, a master of traps
Me owls are out and about
For you they will look and for you they will scout
Lifelong curse of intervertebral gout
Not long now before you will shout

Hey! Tequila I'm so sorry
Well now's to late for apologies Robbie
Didn't respond to the RSVP
For me niece's second bloody birthday party!
Look at you now all week and feeble
The response to that ones a bit more eager!
Look at you now you're such a disgrace
Don't believe a word that comes out of your face
I've got magic coming out me nose coming out me arse
If you need a spell casted I can to it fast
The wrong side of Tizzy's not a good place to be
Get a move on exit immediately
Pick and option a, b, or c
And I'd suggest think carefully

A, you can leave now, no questions asked
That is if you can escape the golems outback
B, you can fight me! Man to man!
But you'd need to have trained for a few millennia
C, come see me after class
I'll teach you to respect another bloody ruddy man
Make you mind up and make it brisk
cause I got a potion brewing that'll turn you sick
Make your skin turn flaky and your hair turned crisp
I going to turn you into Kellogg's wheat bisk

And I don't give a hoot
And I don't give a holler
Cause me owls and me animals
All come out and they're gonna cause you bother
I don't give a flip
And I don't give a monkey's
When tequila about
You can be sure you're getting punted