1AM at The Harris

Yeah, used to call me Joshy, now they call me Amasula
Path was straight and narrow like the inches on a ruler
Used to have that gaze that froze a room like I'm Medusa
Made some waves then sank into the ocean with no scuba
Had a lot of homies now I'm really rolling solo
All my friends tied the knot or tied up like bolo
Sicky like ebola, whipping my Corolla
I really drive a Civic, had to match it to the flow though
Missed call from my father, sticking to his honor
I'm playing, he don't call or text, it got me hot like lava
I got problems with forgiveness
My memory so perfect, see the past my only witness
I replay a million scenes at billionth speed
A trillion things that I could think
Quadrillion scenarios that pass me in a single blink
Dirty dishes in my sink
Opened up a window in the kitchen, I could feel a breeze
A hundred thousand thoughts of giving up
And it's just one of me, sheesh
They told me I'd have struggles as I'm growing up
But I gotta be honest, it's getting old, my bruh
Times are changing but my feelings ain't
I think I hit my ceiling, mane

Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up
Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people
Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup
I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina
Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up
Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people
Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup
I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina

Katrina, hurricanes around me, I'm just singing like Anita
Always quick to rush me, at this point I think I need a
Second to breathe, prophesying like Khadijah
Don't know what I'm doing here, I'm praying for my freedom
Every day I'm gone
I don't need you flexing telling me 'bout how you on
I had lost perspective when I wrestled with the thoughts
I had lost direction when I didn't have a job
Mind moving a mile a minute, I could never pause
Remember my complexion was a flaw but now it's art
Played a role for many years and never got applause
My past isn't my present, my mistakes is not my fault
I, I

Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up
Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people
Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup
I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina
Thought when I got older, life would finally have me freed up
Nowadays I'm wishing I could be like other people
Sitting in the aisles, and they calling for some cleanup
I just tell 'em back up off me, like damn Gina

Hit a lick and my
Wallet looking thick as pie
Pull 'em every single time
Flash 'em with a simple smile
So defensive, why?
None with better sense than I
I'm so filled with pride
I toss toxic dreams aside
And I put that on momma
Used to dress in graphic tees and now I rock pajamas
Always wanted a Lambo but I'm cruising in my Honda
Like Kanye, my mom is my biggest fan
R.I.P. Donda, Donda (West, West, West)
I'm fresh to death (death, death), killing it
My credit card 'boutta max out but I keep on billing it
A liter of Patron in my system, I think I'm feeling it
A drop of joy in an ocean of doubt, I'm hip to stealing it
These feelings is a wave, and I don't play
I can't run away, I'm every day
Roped in a tug-of-war with that previous phase
You see it on my face, I'm in need of grace
I might need a place, my own space
Somewhere I could pray, I could be okay

And now I got the spirit
These n****s too cocky, really they ain't trying to hear it
I cannot make sense of these emotions that I'm feeling
But every day gets better, that's a sign that I been healing
I, I
I been on the road, I used to move quiet
Now I'm shifting gears to go
Never really did a thing that I was supposed to
Just look at my future, baby
I been dripped in gold
I'm writing a story and it's head-to-toe in prose
Been looking for a purpose now I feel like I been chose
Blooming where I'm planted, now my roots they wanna grow
Environment cemented, through the cracks, here comes a rose