SSIV

I just roam the streets
In search of pleasure to my detriment
I knew I lost myself
I got some more, but pain not lessening
Moving to the rhythm
Of a muthafucking demon
Cause I disconnect my feelings
When I let go of this semen
Same time
Emotional as hell
I need some wisdom
Cause I told myself
That I would give a fuck
Except I didn't
Now she crying on the phone
Telling me that I ain't shit
Blank face expression
As she screaming to me "You a bitch!"
I'm a bitch?
Well so be it
Not yo girl, it's just yo turn
Heart change like cold seasons
Man I learned that lesson
So many times, still feenin'
Like lil baby give me some time
I still need it
Hol on

I just roam the streets
In search of pleasure to my detriment
I know I lost myself
I got some more, but pain not lessening
Moving to the rhythm
Of a muthafucking stoner
Swear I'm searching for connection
But I never get the closure

My anxiety be killing all attempts
In making friends
If I show you who I am
You'll disappear like all of them
Masking all my grief
Then put in music
Only time you get the real
Is when you listen, its confusing
Oh my God man

I just roam the streets
In search of pleasure to my detriment
I know I lost myself
I got some more, but pain not lessening
Moving to the rhythm
Of a muthafucking pessimist
It's all black
And I can't see the light in daily messages
Talking to my therapist
And being disingenuous
We at a stand still
So she getting irritated
How you sign up for this?
But really won't tell me shit
I always been distant
Growing jaded
Is it cause my folks don't get me?
My friends been shifty?
Each women that I lay with
I grow more empty
How the fuck the writer's block
Hit so quickly
When me and HEALER used to make hits so quickly