You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole

"All I need is a reindeer" The Grinch looked around
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he called his dog, Max, then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head

Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh and he whistled for Max

Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town

All their windows were dark, no one knew he was there
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little house on the square

"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch
He got stuck only once, for a minute or two
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings hung all in a row

"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! Pampoolers, pantoockers and drums!
Checkerboards! Bizzlebings, popcorn and plums!
And he stuffed them in bags, then the Grinch, very nimbly
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!