Relapse

Yeah, I'm tryna
I got it, I got it, I got it
I'm tryna tell you how I

I'm tryna tell you how I feel
Ignoring every word, I get to drowning in the pills
Surrounded by the fake, it gets so hard to keep it real
Say death just left a notice, might be time to pay the bill
You know that I been trying
Say it's better now, to hide the truth that I been lying
Always keep a smile cuss I can't tell you that I'm dying
Just promise when I'm gone that you won't ever do no crying

Know life ain't been the same since the day that I turned to twelve
But Ian wanna kill myself cuss I was scared to go to hell
Like who I'm posed to run to now, now that my pops up in that cell
Nomo wishing for the best, ain't got no pennies for that well

I swear I hated you up till the day I sent that letter
You was posed to be around to make sure everything was better
You can't get that time back, you gone be trying for forever
It's a cold world but you ain't even leave a sweater

It's a cold world, but Ian even have a chance
Speak to Johnny everyday, it might be time to grab ya hand
Know I let you down ma, but I just you pray you understand
Know you did it by yourself, why God ain't leave you with a plan
You a woman raised by women, how you posed to raise a man
Tell my sisters that I love em, I know they my biggest fans
Take my ashes to Dubai, let Jayden put em in the sand
I know it's rough for you to cope, it's gon be hard to comprehend

To my Lady
I left you with the job to raise our baby
I pray that you forgive and never hate me
I'm sorry I was weak, I let it break me
Time to time, you heal my scars
Left broken promises because I know i broke yo heart
The hardest thing bout this was just the thought to be apart
But I'm always by your side, I swear to God I'm never far

I know you don't believe me but I swear I love you son
Took some losses in my life but with you I swear I won
Apologize I had to leave before your life really begun
I hope it's better now, live ya life and have some fun
I gave it all to you, left every penny in yo name
I know you wishing I was there, like would things ever be the same
Put yo burdens all on me, swear I can carry all the pain
Just be a better man than me, it's up to you to make the change

I'm tryna tell you how I feel
Ignoring every word, I get to drowning in the pills
Surrounded by the fake, it gets so hard to keep it real
Say death just left a notice, might be time to pay the bill
You know that I been trying
Say it's better now, to hide the truth that I been lying
Always keep a smile cuss I can't tell you that I'm dying
Just promise when I'm gone that you won't ever do no crying