Total Disaster

C-Lance

I went from an outcast in the back
Fillin' up with doubt fast
To a well balanced individual to outlast
Anything comin' my way
I don't avoid it, I want it today
Give me whatever you want
I'mma take it and burn it like "Oh they don't wanna be saved"
I ain't a fool like my dad, but it ain't cool to stay mad
These dudes view me, YouTube me, glued to my past
And they're like "You ain't been livin' the same
We liked you better when full of the pain"
I told 'em I had to let it go, let it be for me
'Cause I was afraid of my brain
Straight up it felt like that, when I fell like that
And I'm pissy but I belt you but the belt strikes back
And it's been taller for me but I don't wanna leave
I got plenty more I've gotta do
And I've been headed forward in the booth
I am an animal, I'm on the loose
You are the reason I am alive
You better believe that I'm gonna strive
Until I'm deceased and I'm gonna rot
As long as I'm breathin', stick to the plot
Because the alternative ain't looking good
It's got me doin' what I should
Look at me grow, look at me prosper
Look at 'em looking at me getting shook, yeah

They told me I would be nothing
I love it, it's one of the reasons I'm here
I'm not the type that would like it if I ended up
Like I'm one of my peers
To be a total disaster
I'm not a total disaster

They said I never would amount to shit
Back when I was soundin' out the alphabet
Learnin' how to count, they count me out
Doubt would cloud my head
My teachers called me out
The kids clownin' me 'bout how I F'd the test we took
Took my history book, kicked me out the class
So now my desk was in the hall
All the students goin' to lunch would laugh at me
Gettin' hassled by the staff and faculty
I should be glad to leave, it's after three
But home ain't any better
Catch a beatin' but I'm still alive like Eddie Vedder
Guess they're right that I might not amount to zilch
Told me I ain't shit then drove it in my skull with power drills
Cryin' over sour milk, but gallons spilled
Went from drivin' power wheels to county jail
Feel like I carry around a thousand pounds of guilt
My knees are beginning to weaken
As an adult, you would think I woulda learned
Takin' the feelings I had as a teen
Ended up making a positive turn
Livin' the dream
Shit is the opposite, got it and lost every dollar I earned
Then I hit bottom, my father pretended
He thought it would cause a concern
Instead they said

They told I would be nothin'
I love it, it's one of the reasons I'm here
I'm not the type that would like it
If I ended up like I'm one of my peers
To be a total disaster
I'm not a total disaster

I'm a disaster
But the rap I speak's a masterpiece
Black metal blast disaster with a strap in each
Never contested, brand is building like I'm Master P
I told Lance I'll spazz on anything you pass to me
Now cats are mad at me because I'm shredding beats to bits
But each fix will knock the fuckin' teeth out of a piece of shit
At least I get props from veterans in hip-hop
They not trippin' less they trippin' off how fuckin' beast I get
I've got a lot of hate but gotta say I've ceased to let
That affect me, got respect that many reach to get
I spend a G at least off beats when I'm releasin' heat
Six months you sittin' on the beat, ain't even leased it yet
Shit I haven't even reached my peak
The me you've met is mad and the plan is to unleash the freak
Pagans, pawns, pedophiles, pedestrians
Police, I'll sink my teeth in any creature if I need to feast