how to be a human being

I know how to take a hint
Just aint learned not to take offense
It's harder making friends
When you too hard to let 'em in
And when you do it's like you losing yourself
It's like what do i have to prove to myself?
That i'm worthy enough? that i'm worthy of love?
Does a little bit of hurt convert a burden from trust?
Even sharpening steel
Someday it still gotta rust
And change is prolly happening before it feel like it does
It's something delicate about airing out frustrations
Or even slight impatience
I mean it's like complacence, you find your solace in it
You find yourself outside yourself despite the solipsism
Some say our thoughts are prison
I think it's less than that but more complex
I haven't figured yet, that's prolly why i haven't stressed
I used to practice self harm via selfishness
I used to cut myself off from my relevance
I even practiced celibacy
It used to be a choice, now it's a regret
What type of man don't find no power out of sex?

This not a flex but i'm too proud to be depressed
There's disempowerment in that
The thing about crashing out is only cowards make it back
I traded dollars for a strap
Now am i active or i'm acting?
Guess i'm only finna see if it's needing my reaction
Another rap bout how my passions went
Same place where my actions did
Way before my words cuz i got hurt from lack of backing them
Feel like my personhood detached from my actions
Is you holding me accountable or holding me captive?
Crackers want my personhood detached from my blackness
They gon provoke me every time just to get a reaction