So Cold

I sit here and I'm racking my brain, as I restrain
The fear inside my heart cuz the damage that I had made
I'm broken, my soul floats out of me, I provoked it
My hope is that I figure this out before I'm alone with
My own insecurities I bury in the open
Trust issues suffocate me, barely breathe I'm choking
I'm drowning in the tears, frantically in the ocean
My frown in the mirror apparently is my motive
The dark place I'm in has me on edge and I'm angry
The sharp gaze and grin is my attempt at me faking
The heart's paper thin, the mind is empty and vacant
The top layer's thick, cuz I'm not meant for complaining
I keep it to myself as if it's secret and sacred
I'm either gonna yell because I'm mean full of hatred
Or teeter off the belt and make me bleed cuz I'm anxious
I see the depths of Hell and feel intrigued like it'd save us

This place just feels so cold
Tears down my face and I scream don't go
Try to make the best but I still don't know
Why I try so hard but it feels so cold
I just make the same mistakes like, "oh no"
Tears roll down my face so slow
I try to make it work but it just don't go
I try so hard but it feels so cold

I feel a sensitivity that developed into a complex
Negativity that gets held into my broad chest
Attention to me making more pissed beyond threats
'Specially with the way that I'm making this bit of progress
Not a fan of crowds, my friends I made 'em aware of this
They couldn't care less though, I guess my paper's my therapist
I'm not upset though, it's not their problem, I'll handle it
I'll just chock it up to my mothers heartless abandonment
But I'm a grown man, I'll hold on with both hands till the shock of it's over
And I can begin to manage it
I don't wanna sound like a broken record
Harping over the same fucking issue
Of all the things that you can't admit
I feel numb to all of this shit, soulless
I'm hopeless as I'm writing this trying to stay focused
My mind drifts to thoughts I never thought I would have
I guess it's a common fact that I just ain't noticed
I thought that I could fly till I jumped and remained grounded
The star that's in the sky gets covered by rain clouds when
A lot of the horizon is dry, in need of a storm
Sometimes the sky's don't clear up till they showered
I learned my lesson the perfect message is non existent
The certain questions and hurtful headaches are constant with this
Deserve the credit I heard 'em say that their not gon' give it
I earned the blessings the current residents thought of skipping
Advice they're giving me doesn't work, I'm not using it
They're lying to me, and they're not concerned, they're just full of it
The pride that's in me just took a turn and it's not amusing if
The sign they give me's just gonna burn my dream in this music shit
Out of my mind, I think I'm go rogue
I keep on chasing a dream, too scared to go home
Cuz my life if I don't make it, I swear I just don't know
The thoughts, I can't take it the road gets so cold

This place just feels so cold
Tears down my face and I scream don't go
Try to make the best but I still don't know
Why I try so hard but it feels so cold
I just make the same mistakes like, "oh no"
Tears roll down my face so slow
I try to make it work but it just don't go
I try so hard but it feels so cold

I try and justify just why it had all happened
My pride in disguise cuz I just don't have the
Patience in me, I brace it hits me, straight in the face
And I cry to the sky for some sign of some action
I wanna make a difference and be the face of the franchise
But begging for attention just makes me feel like a damn lie
The way my life is changing though, makes me run but I can't hide
No advice I'm taking though cuz I'm out of my damn mind
Have a fear of failing and not supporting my family
Because now they need me to be the man that I stand to be
I need to make a dent in this shit, it's more than a brand to me
Need to be honest so that they're all understanding me
I lost my grandfather, my mother walked out on all of us
My life's a fucking wreck, yeah my family's not what I thought it was
I wanna be supportive, but I guess shouldn't of brought it up
I said that this is therapy to me though so I followed up

This place just feels so cold
Tears down my face and I scream don't go
Try to make the best but I still don't know
Why I try so hard but it feels so cold
I just make the same mistakes like, "oh no"
Tears roll down my face so slow
I try to make it work but it just don't go
I try so hard but it feels so cold

This place just feels so cold
Tears down my face and I scream don't go
Try to make the best but I still don't know
Why I try so hard but it feels so cold
I just make the same mistakes like, "oh no"
Tears roll down my face so slow
I try to make it work but it just don't go
I try so hard but it feels so cold