Quiet

I still get vertigo
When I walk across Bridges
My palms start to sweat
The back of my neck itches
I can't stand the sound
Of silence in a room
It never takes long
To start thinking of you

So I fill my blood
With drugs and distractions
To limit myself
To ideas not actions
I lay in the dark
With a record and weep
To sing all the demons
In my head to sleep

It's so quiet here

The picture you drew for me
Is still on my wall
Obsessing convulsing
Repulsed and enthralled
I pick the scabs on the holes
Scratched through my skin
I'll eat all my feelings then
Puke myself thin

I talk to myself cause there's no one around
Spend hours in the shower cause I like the sound
It washes these intrusive thoughts till they've drowned
I'll take all this pain and I'll run it
In to the ground

I need to wear headphones
When I go outside
Pump noise into my brain
Gives me somewhere to hide
From the voices reminding me
Of all the love
That I fucking destroyed
Cause it wasn't enough

I'm lost I'm alone and I can't fight these tears
Everyone's moved on bit I am still here
And I'm sorry to confirm all of your worst fears
But you still can't save me I've been dead for years