Self-diagnosed Contrast Disorder

You hate people who live for the weekend
You never understood that feeling
You don't wanna be left out
Without expectations
You're running from yourself
And your personal hell

And it's okay to be broken
And it's okay to feel like you've fucked it up
But you've got something, something I want
You have reasons to live that's what I want

And it's been hard to tell that
You've had something that's felt left out
You had a loving father
It was hard for you to see but it's true

Your mother too, she loves your guts
You love your parents so so much
You take them for granted
You waste away their time just by breathing

You search for ways to find a meaning
Never doubted that you'd make it even though
You're a fucking loser
You got the job you want
You can't believe it

You're reaching all your deadlines
You're nailing work but it doesn't feel alright
You don't ever see your worth
You're a fuckup and it's true
We both know that

Now that you live in a drainpipe
You've got shit to fucking sort out
You've got a million threads now
You got reasons to smile you don't see them

I don't care that I don't like myself
I won't give a shit about feeling thin
And I am the fattest person I know
I'm diseased with feeling okay when I'm at my worst

You only know how to write a verse
You've got nothing that packs a punchline
You are just a terrible feeling
You can talk your way through shit but that's nothing

There's just one thing you can do
That makes your clock turn slower too
And it's drinking your life away
Please refrain to that I must feel okay

When you was nineteen you got left out
You've felt like you've been a dead guy
Since then you never went back
To the place where you once were when you were fifteen

You tried your best to get revenge
You did some things that you regret
And ever since you've been a coward
You even found someone to act like a bandaid

I would be kind enough to kill myself
Fuck myself with my self-hatred
I am too self-centered
I've got so much shit to say about my brain

Well I'm right here you fuckup
You keep inner monologues
I know that, I can hear them
You're nowhere and that's safe to say for now

I am Albert No one
I am Albert Nobody
And I am just a name
A placeholder for pain until I die
I am a fucking fraud

I am Albert No one
I am Albert No one
I am Albert No one
I am Albert No one