Morning Insomnia

Work late bed 8am now I sleep in the day
It's hot and the curtains don't stop the sun rays
Post-sleep testosterone, I might lift some weights
Now I'm fantasising about some girls I want to date

If I reach fame, I'll have my day in court
Fame means targets, your name's a high score
Some aim for your pockets, some aim for your voice
There's no yes or no, you fight back, you have no choice

Wouldn't be surprising if I died young
Or worse if over the years I became a cunt
Well mannered and secure and reckless all at once
Saving up oxygen with a punctured lung

I hate to be mysterious, but I like art
But I like getting my stupid point across
But then half this shit just loses its fun
Like you pipe and you pipe and you never ever____

I do my very best to my opinion hide
But I'll stubbornly defend what I think is right
Don't wanna be in realities don't wanna be soaps
Don't wanna be them jokemen that troll it till they choke

I've fully lost track of all the meanings of woke
From mindfulness to children's blood, the word's become a joke
Caring's now a contest, tweets a hard game
If someone doesn't know what to say, full on accumulated hate

Don't misunderstand miseducation hatred
From my hatred of miseducators
It's blatant
The existence of the brainless
It's not theirs blame in
I don't hate em
I just think a every word they say is
Just fucking alien
But I could never understand an alien
I misunderstand your misunderstanding
Is what I'm saying
Guess we were just born in different places
Different neighbourhoods and cultures
And types of education
Information reliability has got a wide range and
Sources aren't reliable every day
What I'm trying to say is
We all have pain in this
Sickening beautiful crippling ancient
Rock that's 1.7 trillion days of age but...

There's still further days

Now I'm sleeping in my days

I'm not aiming for the world
But you might aim for me
God only knows
What this here life will bring
Career probably shorter
Than a pick for your tooth
But these convos with myself
Is all I have to talk to you
So don't interrupt me

Sharing is easy, the process is rough
Understanding your mind to understanding what you love
To then having to say it in a way that won't be judged
Organise adjust
Having these little gems cut

It's real tough
And what's worse is the feeling that you haven't done enough
Maybe people just ain't civil enough
Obsessed opinions have got us all in f*cking cuffs

Ideally, I'd be okay with cutting lying ties
Ideally, temptation wouldn't fool my eyes
Ideally, I wouldn't stress over the sites and the socials
and the comments coming left and right

Ideally I'd quit all these thoughts and go to sleep
And get more than just 30 hour sleep per week
Not worry about people who wouldn't care for me
And billions of strangers who wouldn't care to see

If i was laughing, crying, having a panic attack
Screaming to a pillow, that's a therapy nap
Picturing conversations I'm never gonna have
Orienting myself outta nocturnal mazes i need nav

For what am about to share, am I prepared?
External concern always hovering above my head
It's our own potential that makes us all scared
Views and opinions are scaring us all to death

Will opening up finally let me rest?
Will I still need to take a pill to doze off?
These lyrics are my therapy I'm doing my best
3PM, once again, gotta throw my clothes on