CoNFLiCTEd

I know I'm definitely breathing alright
But inside I'm suffocating
There's no time to cry
Cause I'm already in an ocean
So many connection to chains
I can't unlock it
And for my emotions i dug a grave to keep them hidden
Yeah I'm stuck in a place that only exists in my head
And I can't get it out
Neither can I run away
I'm a slave to my thoughts
Independence is gone
Here's a gun
Thinking maybe i should give it a shot
Yeah just one little shot
Says the voice in my head
Or maybe jumping off a cliff could get you out in a sec
But I don't want to
What about my mama and friends?
Huh?
And what about my pops who sees me as a gift
You silly crazy bitch!
Why you tryna talk to me?
Where'd you from?
How'd you get in here?! Huh? Talk to me
I just want to grab you by the neck knowing that you're here
Taking advantage of my emotions to get me to kill myself
But I cannot blame you though
I opened the doors to those
Who only commend the negativity in all my thoughts
Seeking validation in the places that were never home
Tryna be other people to the point where I neglect my soul
Feeling like an outcast in a place where I was born
Looking through those very eyes judging me from head to toe
They be saying words like you're ugly
You're not good enough
Cross checking myself to make sure I'm not the toxic one

They don't even know what pain is
But they inflict it
They say don't be sad
But they're the reason I'm conflicted
Telling me "be happy"
But that feeling is addictive
You know it never lasts
No surprises when predicted

Can't talk about the nightmares that i don't share
The yelling that they don't hear
The cuts on my skin
That I cover with a jacket
The paintings on the wall with my blood on my blanket
But everybody expects me to be smiling and they got that
But f that
The loyalty is dead and I can't forget that
And they know that
They're all tryna pretend and I confess that
These times are really difficult for me but I conceal that
Cause they just let me do it on my own so they could step back
But I'm done now
I'mma hand it all to god
Everyday I'm sinking in
Losing everything I've got
I can't even feel myself
My feelings are upon the floor
Ignoring my darkest hour
Knowing that it will be gone.

They don't even know what pain is
But they inflict it
They say don't be sad
But they're the reason I'm conflicted
They'll me to "be happy"
But that feeling is addictive
You know it never lasts
No surprises when predicted

Yeah
It's been predicted
It's been predicted
It's been predicted
It's addictive

They don't even know what pain is
But they inflict it
They say don't be sad
But they're the reason I'm conflicted
They'll me to "be happy"
But that feeling is addictive
You know it never lasts
No surprises when predicted

Yeah
It's been predicted
It's addictive



Credits
Writer(s): Fiona Owan
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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