Tupperware Party

If you don't buy something
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave
We're closing up soon
And you've been icing that cold coffee since three
Job's worth waiter, theater major can't look me in the eye
Wants to kick me out but knows it's minus two outside
I'm not a tramp, I'm not a drifter
Can't you see this tailored suit
Should be back in New-York but there's one thing I need to do
And I am sorry to interrupt your Tupperware party
But you used to sit opposite me at the campus library
I sold the jag, left my wife, quit my job on Wall Street
And I'm retracing my steps to find the last time I was happy
Winter in Manhattan kind of makes me want to stab
Every stuck up frat boy only here cause the boss knows his dad
So I walk up to CEO at the team building exercise
And I say "you can stick my job the same place
you stuck your first wife"
And I am sorry to interrupt your nephew's bar mitzvah
But you used to run an improv group at a Church hall in Pittsburgh
Do you remember per chance the girl who used to run it with you
Cause my life would've been so different if I had the guts to kiss her
If I only had the guts
And I am sorry to interrupt your rehearsal dinner
But you used to run an improv group at a church hall in Pittsburgh
Do you remember that scrawny kid who drove up from Penn State
Well he's very rich now and very sad
And wondering
Is he too late
Is he too late
Am I too late
What a beautiful wedding
What a beuatufiul bride
What a beautiful baby
I wouldn't care if I died
Cause yeah I've got all this money
But what have I ever done
I've never really been happy
But you're the closest I've gone