The Ballad of a Mean Cavan Hoor

There's beautiful country up around Kilnaleck
But the smell of the compost
Would make your dog sick
It hangs in the air
And perfumes your clothes
For a tenner they'll rent you a peg for your nose
I tell ya hai!... It's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor

In Ballyjamesduff on the hill you will find
They've erected a rather large wind turbine
Hoping the light bill is easier paid
As the height of this yoke
Is a terror to see
I tell ya hai!... it's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor

Up In Cavan town a protest did start
Against Irish water
And their water charge
The sergeant out of the window remarked
We'll start a collection
And scatter the march
I tell ya hai!... it's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor

Now the Cavan shopkeeper's
We've heard of before
He charge you a toll
For crossing the door
But anything goes
With a schilling to make
He'd sell you cat shite
And call it sweet cake
I tell ya hai!... it's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor

Now Christmas in Cavan's
A terrible pass
The auld fella'd take you down
To the church yard
Not to pray for the dead
Their souls for to save
But to show the poor children
Santa Claus's grave
I tell ya hai!... it's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor

On a Sunday a good Cavan man goes to mass
The priest on the altar
A chalice he'll pass
Along the front row
The faithful to find
But they're not even Christian
They want the free wine
I tell ya hai!... itst's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor

Down in Virginia
On the border with Meath
The locals are all a peculiar breed
But with the Jones's
They cannot keep up
Because all They want
Is the Sam Maguire cup
I tell ya hai!... it's for sure
There's no one as cute as a mean Cavan hoor
And none are as cute as a mean Cavan hoor