Selfish Ways

My first love used to live on Cherry Street
She used to hit me every year, happy birthday E
But I ain't hear from her since she had her mini me
Used to walk her home every day through rain, snow, and sleet
Long streets, I mean A to LG, I hope she fine
My second got one too, that one probably should been mine
Stand out cause she the first to hear me rhyme
Probably don't remember how she told me take my time
Man I always had my BBM to this shit
Never wrote in pen cause it was too permanent
Inspired by a Star to stay level through turbulence
Ego shot that down too, that's merciless
And this one is for the lost ones too
Maybe Aly, Liz, and Yana will hear this through
It's not always bout the wins you gotta hear bout the losses too
These the shapers, even Kim helped me break through
Cause I wasn't always confident
Tried to fit in for some compliments
Grew into myself, broke a lot of hearts that's a consequence
Even had a great one flying over continents
And my family sure love Rissa
We still close but sometimes I miss still her
If we ain't break it off then we woulda grown bitter
I just hope she that knows that she's meant for bigger
I'm just a city boy, but some prefer the ones from the burbs
Trigger the insecure, won't mention our last words
She wanted me despite all the stories that you heard
I'm not angry, that's just pain with the lines blurred

Really this my world but I'll end it there
Hope they don't get mad that I gave them air
Didn't touch the South but it's all love I swear
They deserve they own songs just to make it fair
Still working out my feelings cause it's too recent
Heart betrays logic that's internal treason
Twenty-seven now that's a lotta stacked up seasons
Fumbled lotta hearts for some selfish reasons
Never let it show but I really fear being alone
Learned to love myself but can I call it home
How my kids will never see my grandma's soul
Thirty's creepin', hope my honesty sets the tone
Strivin' for decent, be the man that my momma raised
It's all a part of me cause heart I always gave
Me to a fault, never lie that I wasn't fazed
And I never speak ill on anybody's name
Cause if I let you in my life I'm still amazed
You changed my life, you deserve the praise
Hope this shows growth cause I've really changed
And I apologize for my selfish ways