SARGASSO

You're not available, where are you
Are you on your way

I think I need some time to think
I think I need some time to drink
I think I need some time to eat some water and sleep
Wait
No
No, my mind's all of flutter
My mind's in the gutter
My apartment's all a clutter
I got scattered and battered inside that ten-by-ten-by-ten
I got lost inside my mind, echoing inside my head
Now I'm stuck here in the blue, and I don't know what to do
Cause I'll say pretty please to God but then I'll break all my new rules
I'm tryna make process, but quit on the process
I'm thinking I should write more and talk less
So let's write it all down, let's just lay it out
Let it go, let it flow, and just hope we don't drown

It's hard to have community when you've been MIA
I got like ten friends, nine of them are out of state
We talk once a month, maybe twice if we're lucky
And I always find the beauty, but it's hard to call this lovely
Maybe I'm just broken, maybe I just need to sleep
Maybe in the morning I'll give up on all my dreams
It's hard to wanna hustle when like four of them believe
But it's really not their fault cause look at me, no look at me
I got all of my scars dropping boxes and the ball
Disregarding new mercies every summer, spring, and fall
And it's all out of order cause I don't protect my border
So now I'm terrified that she'll leave when I tell it all

Tryna break the fifth wall, drinking black tea on bones days
And you can stay the night, just lemme know the day
I made it to twenty-one, but not unscathed
Heroism is a full-time-job and it don't really pay
I know you don't believe half of what I've said
Cause I was lost and almost found seven times in my head
But now I'm not afraid to fall, cause even if it's gravity
If I get to be with you, there's no place that I'd rather be
Can't wait for the mentions, Lord, save me from your followers
Stay away from darling, don't you dare to request to follow her
"Let all your damage damage me", those the words I want to speak
After the after party

Said I was on the way to wonderland, but immer immer wieder
Just gimme a minute to sit because my feet hurt
Feels like a few years ago, on those country roads
Makin' proud proclamations moments after I had seen her
But it wasn't really time, and it really isn't now
Still learning how to fly with me feet on the ground
Still learning how to kneel and take off my crown
Still learning how to breathe, still learning how to bow
Hard to start it over, take it from the top again
Had to work out of the blue before I could get out the red
No trust me when I tell you it'll make sense in the end
Just never lose your hope, and I'll see you tomorrow, friend

I wanna build some muscle, wanna stay out of trouble
Wanna build myself a throne and sit on top of all the rubble
Wanna cultivate a home that's God-fearing and blessed
Want to never lash out at the kids when I get stressed
I hope they're doing well, hope they call on me for help
Praying that they move toward heaven and move away from hell
No I don't know if I did well with my time there
But when I prosper, maybe I can let them know that I care
May God protect all of the people that I love
Man I hope that I make proud the saints watching from above
Nah I'm not sleeping anymore, no, I promise you that
Can't wait to talk about with you when it's all a wrap