Hydrangea Interlude

When I was younger, I thought a lot about the noose
Mama, that's just what I saw, and I ain't know what else to do
I guess I used to fight and claw cause I just had too much to prove
And then I got a look at God, and then I felt like prove to who?
So I needed something stronger, then I mixed that in my double-cup
I used to work the double just to hit the plug and double up
I put that on the buzz and got to bars 'bout getting butter up
But she knew what it was, it's who I am until the summer's over

When I was younger I used to think about like, really leaving
Like shit if that's how you feel then, shit Imma make us even
Shit I'll go cop the steel from brodie, put that shit on treason
I was at my wit's end when the leaves fell, need a different season
I need a different reason
I need a new religion
The world needed Donny
But he was in the pills, and
Then one night I had a dream I sold a hundred million
I was fielding deals all with the team, we said we did not feel them

Either way the keel is even, I told 'em
Some shit I ain't believe until I see and it's golden
I'm tired and still kicking up my knees, yeah I'm running
I've been trying, I've been living, I've been dying for something
All you could see in me is signs of exhaustion
It's a side of me that you ain't lay ya eyes on too often
It's the shit that used to try me and just tie up my stomach
I used to look right in your eyes and count the lies by the dozen