In My Head I'm 21

In my head I'm twenty-one
Its my biggest birthday
I go to a bar to have some fun
I don't care it's a little cliche
In my head I'm twenty-one
But of course it's all in my head
Clear like a film reel being run
While I think and dream in my bed
I make up an imaginary bar
I go with my friends, my crew!
We walk it's not that far
Are my friends imaginary too?

I'm 17. Newly discovering my trans identity... by
Imagining the future! Like I said, in my head I'm 21

It's a little cramped in here
But I'm drunk now! I don't mind
I push my way out of the rear
To the front, what do I find?
All of a sudden I scream!
THEY'RE PLAYING MY FAVORITE SONG!
Hm! Almost like its a dream
Anyway, what could go wrong?
I get atop a table
It's long, there's room for more
It shakes but I feel stable
Looking out at the dance floor
I start to sing or screech
The song with all my might
I sway, I jump, I reach
My sparkly outfit catches the light
I snap back to reality's prison
I'm just in my room
So why does this vision

Feel like it's going to bring my doom
I try to remember what I thought
What was spread, a rumor?
A memory it is not
Its a vision of the future
And in this future I'm twenty-one
And I am not afraid
I go out to have some fun
Was my past what was betrayed?

I'm 17. Newly out as trans. Trying to figure
Myself out. Hungry for community, but unable to find one

In my head I'm 21
Not 17 in my house
That doesn't feel like a home
When will I get out
And in my head I'm seeing things
Can't tell if they're real
Can't tell if these visions
Are true or just what I feel
But in my head I'm 21
I'm finally who I am
I'm not ever questioned
I'm just another man

I'm 17. Newly out as trans. It's 1999, and I'm seeing prophetic visions