Ballad

Off-key, but I still get my keys off
Not wintertime, but I still got the sneeze-cough
I feel off, hangin' on like a leaf, Mom
Knows me best, but what you see can be perceived wrong
I'm lost, and it's not easy to admit
But I can't complain, knowing that my problems ain't legit
Most people got it worse, and a lot without a hearse
Or even a way to church, or a pastor's sorry book
Look, look, I've been shook by the future
My dopamine is lost, my brain angled Kama Sutra
But I'm inspired, tryna get what I desired
As a kid, I knew my aim was hard-wired
Learned hard work, through my Dad, I admired
Churning concrete, bending over, not retired
Molded by my mother, called me out as a liar
Summer '15, was 17, I was tired
I was told, take responsibility for your actions
I drove the damn van through the snow without the traction
My brother, still a drummer, had instilled with me a passion
Then I started rapping, getting versed in all the madness

But life becomes a challenge, can't seem to find a balance
Still medicated, Lexapro on my callous
Split the pill in half, everyday, an allowance
Up late, every night, making time for rapping
But what about a job? You just got out of school
Parent's friends asking what the hell I'm gonna do
I just blow it off, change the topic, play it cool
I don't know why people just don't abide by all these rules
This is usually the part where I start cursing hard
But I gotta give my mom respect, of the Church of God
I'm scared of death, my heart looking for an answer
Got my friend's mothers getting plagued with the cancer
Good health, wealth, success is never promised
Heart on my sleeve, I play my life honest
How is life ended?, Which part seems the longest?
How far do you go until you've met your target?
I'm just guessing, with my interconnected conscious
Thoughts so heavy, feelin' petty, getting nauseous
The belly of the beast, my heart going up for auction
Stay strong, suicide's not an option

I think that was it