Vanilla

In my nightmares, I let them kiss me with tongue
Until I feel the blues in my veins blush to hot, red blood
And it goes to my head all that rush of dopamine
My doctor loves that for me, says, you go for it
But I hate all that happy so I go off and cry
Clog up the bathroom drain with my tears, a broken toy

And, I eat my pizza cold
And I like my jokes sad
It's the taste of the words
That I never said on the tip of my tongue and
God, do I love it, how it lingers, how it drives me mad
But keeps me on my toes, well, who's gonna tell my doctor that?
The fun's in the lying
Twenty-three and I'm wild yeah

In my dreams, I'm told I smell like vanilla and mistakes
They slam the door on my face, and god, do I love it
I knock and knock until I hear my knuckles break some bones
God, what a rush it is to have no fucking where to go
I hear the sirens in my ears, in my limbs come to life
They keep me company, through the night, hold my hand, kiss my eyes
My doctor says the pretty pills can make them go away
Why would I want that though, is she stupid or she insane?
Yeah, my doctor says the pretty pills can make them go away
Why would I want that though, is she stupid or fucking insane?

And, I eat my pizza cold
And I like my jokes sad
It's the taste of the words
That I never said on the tip of my tongue and
God, do I love it, how it lingers, how it drives me mad
But keeps me on my toes, well, who's gonna tell my doctor that?
The fun's in the lying
Twenty-three and I'm wild yeah

Guess they were right, there really is something wrong with me
But, fuck them all to hell, I love it, I love it, I love it, yeah