The Last Dance

Part one
I Left A Box With a Letter At Your Doorstep

Part two
Holding Our Love In My Tender Hands
When your world is filled with black
And there's no turning back
A lit cigarette
In the back of your car
We didn't smoke it cuz' it was a waste of time
And I couldn't help but agree
And the lungs weren't much on an incentive
I stopped yelling
Even when you were far away
Because of something
That happened when you were a kid
Press go on the car
It's electric
I don't understand it
I don't think you do either
(Winter, Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring, then you're gone and you'll come back then you're gone...)

Part three
2:57 AM
I think we're both so afraid of
being alone
That we pretend we are
To feel less when It happens
In my dream I thought you hated me
I pretended it was reality
Send it along
Scream along
And you tried to hide
(I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONEEE)

Part four
Words Through a Filter
You seem really done my love
What is the price of love, my love?
It's been two years
And I still haven't felt your skin
That seems like a lot of work my love
Your love is a spectrum
Filled with every colour
Shimmering shining
Your love is a spectrum
Filled with every colour
And unbanned website in my youth corrupted me
And now I'll never fall in love again

Part four and a half
2:57 AM reprise
I think we're both so afraid of being alone
That we pretend we are
To feel less when It happens
In my dream I thought you hated me
I pretended it was reality
Send it along
Scream along
And you tried to hide

Part Five
Ducks in a Dirty Pond in the Gravel
To you
I could give you everything you need
I could give you everything you want
I can make you reap all you seed
And we can make each other see that we'll never be attached
No matter how much we plead to be
And we can make each other need to be together again
But that ship has sailed
No matter how much we view each other's stories
When we rest our pretty heads upon our silk pillows
We will know a freedom not of joy
But of sadness
But free nonetheless
And I pray for all the shame in me
That you feel no pain
And I pray with all the lack of religious fervor
That you feel no pain
And I pray with all the children that have never done wrong
But shunned by the one in their comfort
That you feel no pain
Because I love you
Because I wanted to
Because I promised you that...
I love you

(Fuck I don't even know where to start) (Fuck.)

To me:
And to myself in my own hormonal tendency:
Why you?
Why anyone?
Why this moment
If not to teach you what you deserve and all you want?
Now is all you have to learn
Now is all you can learn
And now is all you need to learn
And if you lay those forsaken hands upon your life aquatic
Then what have you even learned?
And you deserve all you have gone through
Without my own regret
Why should you expect them to love you
If you cannot love your art?
Why should you expect them to love you
If you hate yourself?
Your love is what you deserve
I despise you for believing love comes without your own love invested
I despise you for every ounce of love you did not give
Being too afraid of getting hurt
And I despise you
Because I see every wrong-doing you do
Because I know you
Because I am you

To us:
When you see your love for all it is:
We are nothing but two teenagers who sexted
We are nothing but two people
Who truly loved one another
But could not love together
And I am nothing but someone
Who is afraid of themselves
And I am not responsible for someone else's sobriety
And you are nothing but someone
Who was hurt as a child
And is now obsessed with abuse and Deftones
And I am nothing but a man
Afraid of becoming one
Because I do not feel as one
We are nothing but two people who may be perfect but cannot do so together

And when you see your love for all it is:
You are in a wide sea of colours
And I'm hidden in them

VI. The Letter Atop the Box

There's a photo of us, but it's not real
We never met, we were just in love
And sorry if I already said this earlier but
I just wanted you

In my dream...
We're not kissing
I'm not inside you
We're just holding each other
But I woke up...