This Confession Has Meant Nothing

What were we talking about?
Oh yes, humanity
There's a topic we could spend forever talking about
What was it again you wanted to know?
A list of terrible humans?
Creationism, and all of that dribble? (Sips his cup of tea)

So the Father was just there
Just floating along in the ether
Eventually and without realizing it
He bumped into something and it turned out to be the Mother
Both were experiencing a sense of loneliness
And like all cosmic entities eventually things happened
And there they were, having sex
So they both orgasmed over and over and over again
Each time bringing all of these Creations to life
Everything from colors, planets, galaxies, the Ancient Ones
All the orders of the Angels
Rainbow Spirits, Seraphim's and Cherubim's
Even me (Takes another sip of tea)

But like all dead beat dads, the Father eventually got distracted by everything
And soon forgot about large numbers of his children
Even the Mother was cast out and thrown into the abyss of blackness
Did you know that I was first among angels?
Technically I'm the brightest and equal only in power to the Father
So if your thoughts have grown dark, allow me to enlighten you

What's that? You wish to chat about the humans?
Well they do continue to spread chaos
Many seem to think that there's a plan in place
I have no opinion on that but it's mostly chaos you know
One would think that maybe you could all start
To stand together and take care of Yourselves
But no it does seem
Like you're all obsessed with chaos and the dystopian themes
I have no qualms in telling you which ones are terrible
If you're interested in knowing (Takes another sip of tea)

Whom you might ask? Well, I guess I did mention a list
Here's a list of terrible people in no particular order

Katie Hopkins
Alex Jones
Miles Davis
Lawrence Fox
Donald Trump
Every US President
Joe Manchin
Ted Cruz
Lars Ulrich (You know why)
John Wayne
Gandhi
Walt Disney
TS Eliot
Roald Dahl (Sorry to ruin your childhood)
Rupert Murdoch
Brett Kavanaugh (This confession has meant nothing)
Ron and Mary
Ann Coulter
Michael Jackson
Ted Bundy
Mother Teresa
Timothy Loehmann
Harvey Weinstein
Jeffrey Epstein
Will Smith
Seth MacFarlane
Kurt Cobain
Jeffrey Dahmer
Daniel Pantale
Jonathan Mattingly
Brett Hankison
Myles Cosgrove
Seth Rogan
Saddam Hussein
Timothy McVeigh
Tom Cruise (No explanation needed)
Kim John-Il
Kim John-Un
KimYo-Jong (The whole Kim family is pretty terrible)
The British Royal Family
Vladimir Putin (Duh)
Every US politician
Tim Cowan
Bill an Hillary Clinton
Jada Pinkett Smith
Kevin Federline
Nazis
NeoNazis
All KKK
Prince
Adolf Hitler
Josef Stalin
Bill Gates
Derek Chauvin
People that drive slow in the fast lane
This list could go on forever so lets end it by simply saying
Literally everyone
Even you
Yes you
You

I'm sure I'll think of more later but that's enough
To satiate you for awhile I'm sure

If you'll excuse me I'm gonna go file down my horns
Like Hellboy while I listen to
Carpenter Brut
Feeling cute think I'll snort some blow
And then go drive some golf balls into a lake of fire later
Awake, arise or whatever

Sincerely
Satan